Jonathan S Fisher's Life Adventures

Archive for March, 2014

32 Days and Celebrating my 50th post :)

Hey readers,

How’s it going? I am not doing so well today or this evening. I’m feeling a little lonely and down on myself. I am thinking suicidal thoughts (which I think I will always face my whole lifetime). I guess I’m just exhausted and stressed out because I have three interviews  lined up for the next three days (Saturday, Sunday, and Monday). Two of them pertaining to work and the one dealing with DPS so I can get food stamps/medical in California.

So based on my post’s heading or subject, yes I have been living in Covenant House California for 32 days now. It’s been a quite interesting experience tho. Here’s how my schedule was like in the past 30 days:

Monday Through Friday:

7AM-Wake up time. I usually sleep in till 745 or 730 depending on how I am feeling. During this time, we are given the opportunity to take morning showers, Make our beds, and do whatever pertains to cleaning the bedroom. I don’t usually take morning showers so I sleep in. It also don’t take much for me  to clean, as I am clean all the time and organized.

8AM to 830AM- Breakfast. I can’t complain about this because it’s free breakfast and at least they feed me. Some mornings it is good but then some not so delicious, but it’s better than nothing! I have skipped breakfast a few times tho. I think the best breakfast so far that they have served is omelette with Hashbrowns and toast.

830AM to 9:15AM- Morning meeting. This is the time when all the residents and staff of the crisis unit come together and meet in the Multi purpose room to discuss issues and what will be needed to be done for the day.

9:15AM to 1145AM- Case Management and Career Center duties. This is the time when we first meet with our case managers. My case manager is Mrs. Lon Usher (I know, I though it was a weird name too). Miss Lon talks to me about my goals for the day and makes sure I am keeping my mind-set on getting a job and a house. She also kind of annoys me by telling me what to do with my friends and always asking me for employment contact sheets. I think by now she knows I don’t listen to her advice about what to with my friends and life. I run my life and I choose where to put my friends. I am not going to stop putting my friend’s needs first because I love my friends. Mrs. Lon always tells me to put my friends on the back burner. I just say whatever all the time.

After meeting the case manager, it is time to move over to the career center. The career center is awesome and helpful! I have no complaints about it because the staff are friendly and help out in any way they can. I do admit the first two weeks I was in the career center that I gave them a problem because I didn’t want to do the classes and work they were making me take. They had me take a class called Job Prep, which was simply a review of what employers are looking for and  how to land your job. Job Prep also help me create a resume and cover letter, which ultimately did help me. The second class they had me take was called “Interview Workshop” in which I sat through a mock interview and answered questions. It was fine.

So with those two classes, I had to also complete what they called the “Casas Test” which was quite simple and I scored high on it. It was a test involving two parts: Math and English. It wasn’t hard at all. Then I also had to complete an assessment which identified my strengths and weaknesses. It also put me in possible career paths I could be useful in. It was an interesting test and it landed the spot on where I was.

So after taking those classes and tests, My Employment/Education specialist, Monique Randolph, sat me down to discuss my job search plan. We came to the conclusion that my goal was to get a full time job working in Retail and that Monday through Friday I would put in five apps per day and report to her every Monday. Monday and Tuesdays were my on-site days where I would stay at the career center all day and fill out 5 online applications. Wednesdays and Thursdays are my offsite days where I can go anywhere in California but I would have to say where I am going and bring back 5 apps. Fridays were my day when I can choose what I want to do as long as I turn in 5 apps that day. So with that being said, that started my days.

I’ve applied to so many places by now and only had two interviews, but I have a feeling that soon I will be getting a job. It’s bound to happen. Moving on.

12 noon Lunch. Sometimes I skip lunch especially on my offsite days.  The best lunch so far has been Chinese.

1230pm to 430pm- Free time or continued job search . If my five apps are not filled out by this time, I just head right back to the career center and finish. Otherwise I just end up heading down to the Starbucks coffee shop down the street and chill. I usually just sit at the table scanning Facebook or checking my #Grindr or #Growlr waiting for someone to chat with me or hookup. Needless to say when I do hook up, they have been a waste of time with exception of two guys. Yes, I have two guys that I saw that were special, but I will cover that later.

5pm to 6pm- Dinner and Courtyard time. This is the time we eat dinner and spend time outside in the courtyard. Usually all the smokers go in one place and smoke.  I usually just sit on my phone texting people or scanning Facebook and watch the boys play basketball. It’s really boring at this time. Dinner is not bad tho! The best dinner they have served is Meatloaf with mashed potatoes and buns. They always serve salad at every dinnertime.

6pm to 7pm- Lifeskills: Roomtime. This is the time when we all are required to be in our rooms cleaning. Usually, I just lay down on my bed and chat with friends or browse Facebook on my phone. We’re supposed to make our beds, fold any laundry we have or do laundry, vacuum the floor, and tidy up the bedroom. I’m always clean so I never bother because all I really have to do is do a load of laundry every now and then. It’s my personal time.

7pm to 8pm- Lifeskills workshop. These are the classes where we learn various lifeskills such as the importance of Renting apartments, social skills, budgeting, etc. Sometimes the classes help but most of the time I’m just on my damn phone texting friends.

8pm to 845pm- Free time. This is the time when we have a choice on what we want to do. They offer classes in music (Mondays are guitar..which I attend frequently. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are percussion/drums. I attended a couple of these classes but the teacher is like a Pacific Islander or something because he has a weird accent and it’s hard to understand. I can’t stand him so I don’t attend the class and rather just watch TV or browse Facebook on my phone. Thursdays are Piano/Voice days. I go for the voice lessons. I don’t know the woman’s name who teaches voice/piano but she is very nice and right now we are working on my breathing.

Fridays we don’t have any classes so I usually watch TV or hang around.  On Wednesdays, they also offer art classes, which I attend frequently and usually do something with clay. So everything is pretty chill. Like I said before, I usually am on my phone most of the time texting friends or Browsing Facebook. My mind is always with my friends.

845pm to 915pm- Night meeting. This is the time all the residents and the staff come together to discuss current issues in the house and concerns. I never speak up about anything because I just want the meeting to go by pretty fast, but then certain residents in the house are immature and drag it on forever. I just sit there and wait patiently.

915pm to 930pm- Chore time. If you signed up to do a chore for that night then you have to complete it at this time. I usually have two days I sign up to do five chores. Chores are quite simple and easy to do. It’s a bunch of vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning furniture, and taking out trash. Nothing too hard.

930pm- Bedtime. The facility doesn’t shut down anything till 11pm but I am usually in bed by this time.

 

Saturdays and Sundays

Saturdays and sundays are pretty simple and laid back with a slight different schedule. Here is how it goes:

7am-8am- wakeup time. This time is very optional. We only have to wake up if we want breakfast. I usually skip breakfast on the weekends, but there have been times I have gone down and eaten breakfast.

8am to 830am- Breakfast.

845am to 10am- Roomtime. This is the time, if you haven’t eaten breakfast to continue to sleep in till around 945am. I usually sleep till 9am and then get up and take a morning shower. I also make my bed and do day planning.

10am to 12pm- free time. Usually by this time I have left out the door and hang out in Hollywood either at a coffee shop or somewhere nearby. I have walked down the walk of fame and visited the Pantages Theater.  Sometimes I also hook up if I am desiring company.

12pm to 1230pm- Lunch. I don’t usually attend lunch on the weekends. I am usually still out and about away from the facility.

1230pm to 445pm- Free time. The facility usually closes its doors by this time but I am always out and about to miss it.

5pm to530pm-Dinner. Dinner is its usual thing.

530pm to 845pm- free time. They open the bedrooms at 6pm and close them by 7pm. But I usually hang out in the multi-purpose room (they call it MPR) and watch TV and/or browse Facebook on my phone.

845pm to 915pm- Night Meeting. This only takes place on Sunday Nights. Usually on saturday nights they just chill.

915pm to 930pm-Chore time.

930pm-Bedtime.

 

So yeah, that’s how my life has been run the past 30 days here in Covenant House. You’d think that with all this schedule that there would be no room for drama or guys. WRONG! There has been a lot that has happened in those small moments of free time and those weekends. For one, I have been discovering Hollywood more and more and falling in love with it. I have not seen any big celebrities yet, but have been flirted on by Ben Patrick Johnson once. If you don’t know who he is, look it up. Boy! That was my moment of fame there. I felt honored he was flirting with me and his body tho! It was amazing and I couldn’t believe he was flirting with me. That’s why I love West Hollywood now (or WeHo). I go there as much as I can just hoping I would be able to see Ben again. I also go to WeHo too because it’s Gay Town and full of gay men. Infact, there is even a Starbucks I love to go to because there are tons of hot men who walk in and out of there.

Relationship wise, you could say I have been naughty. I slept with a couple dudes here and there, but there were two particular men that were close to being my boyfriend. The first one was Nathan George. He seemed  quite nice. 32 year old white male and gorgeous. At first I was hesitant to meet him because he had told me before that he had herpes, but that we could still have sex when his sores were healed up. So we waited for a couple of weeks and then met in person at WeHo. He seemed pretty nice and was a good singer who was in a band called “The Remedy”. He sang to me and I fell for him hard.

Unfortunately, he wanted sex and took me to Melrose Spa. Oh, we had good sex and we made out and cuddled. It was nice, but the place was not. That very day in the spa, four guys were all over me sucking my dick. I didn’t like that.  So we separated that day and I went home. That very night Nate texted me and said he felt bad and that he didn’t want to do it again. I agreed and told him I didn’t like sex in public sex houses. Well things were fine and then two days later he texted me again. He said he didn’t want me because I was too emotional and that he couldn’t handle me. I was like what the hell and just cried myself to sleep that night. I wished that I wasn’t so emotional and messed up mentally. I wished I had a normal brain and wished that for once that I could just kill myself. I almost did that night. I talked to my lesbian girl friend, Kendra White and she helped me through it. I hope Nathan George finds all the love he wants in another guy. For all I am concerned, he had sex with me and had his share of meat. I hope he’s happy.

Then there was Kyle McMenamin. Gosh, Kyle was different from all lovers I have had. It lasted less than a week, but this time it was my own mistake that tore us apart. Kyle was 29 and homeless. White male and six feet tall.  Good motives and wonderful character. Him and I met on Craigslist and went on a couple of dates. By the third date, I asked him how he felt about me and he said he didn’t want to be boyfriends. Well, I assumed he didn’t want me so I slept with another guy. Well, I told Kyle and he just got upset at me and then it fell apart. He didn’t speak to me for a whole day and then he texted me saying he only wanted to be friends and I haven’t heard from him since then. So he gave up on me just like that. This was just recent (yesterday).

I think I am giving up on love now. All these men want something for me to change and I can never seem to live up to their expectations. I can’t change who I am just to satisfy someone. I am emotional. I am lovesick. I am longing just to be loved. I just want someone to cry with and be reassured I am loved. I guess it’s too much. Sorry, but when you have a traumatic childhood and bad adolescent years you’re bound to be emotional and clingy. Guess I’ll have to live with it.

Anyways, yeah. I am taking a break from love for a while to let the scars on my heart to heal. Guess what!? I experienced my first earthquake! Yes, it was on the 14th of March. A 4.7 magnitude scale earthquake and guess what!? I slept through it! The only way I knew about it was when my room mate woke me up screaming and hiding uder the little desk we have in our bedroom. I just woke up and saw him screaming and yelled “Dude, Calm your tits! It’s just the earth moving” and fell back to sleep. Wow! Just wow! I slept through it! How amazing.

So anyways, I have to go and finish some things up, but I will write later.

*YAY FOR 40 DAYS IN HOLLYWOOD! AND MY 50TH POST ON THIS BLOG!!!!!!*** Congrats!

 

-Jonathan S Fisher

*Follow me on Facebook, where you will get daily updates on my life! Thanks!! :0

-Jonathan

971189_539943262784902_1224073514_n A picture of Kyle and I

8120_160864849720_821718_n A Picture of Nathan George (or Nate)

 

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Life in California…..so far

Hey Readers,

So I’ve been in Los Angeles, California for 3 weeks and 5 days. A lot has happened. I know I gave a short brief description on why I was moving and it seemed like a pretty short post. Sorry about that, but you have to understand I was on the bus at the time and I couldn’t concentrate worth squat! Even as I write this post, I may not finish it completely because I only have so much time. So I will do my best.  I love my readers and my followers and thankyou for bearing with me.

So yeah, I took the bus from Grand Rapids, Michigan to Los Angeles, California. It was a 2 day and six-hour trip. I rode the Greyhound bus and we stopped many stops including Chicago, Phoenix, Santa Fe (New Mexico), and many others. I think the best stop was at Oklahoma City because that was when I got out of the bus to stretch and realized I could take my winter jacket off because it was warm weather there (lol……Fuck Michigan weather). It was a fun trip and I did a lot of sleeping and personal reflection. I couldn’t believe I had moved and that I was actually throwing myself to the lions. I felt brave and like I had a major change that was needed in my life. I was pursuing my dreams and I was letting go of everything and leaving my past behind and moving miles away where I would possibly be  alone for weeks at a time.

So I showed up at the bus station Sunday afternoon, 330pm. I was scared and didn’t know where to go. A guy named Andy was supposed to pick me up and  show me around and then take me to a homeless shelter nearby. He didn’t and I was stuck at Greyhound for about two hours just crying and scared. I had no clue where to go and I was frightened. I knew I was in the middle of downtown and close to Skid Row (Which is 100% unsafe and sick). So, after 2 hours I headed over to the McDonald’s just nearby to use the wi-fi there. I sat there for an hour hitting up the gay men there desperately asking for a ride to the nearest shelter and to be shown around. I got no replies. Then I got this strange text. It read “Hey dude, it’s me, Angel. I am out downtown and was wondering if you needed any help? Let me know”. I done freaked out and told this strange guy named “Angel” everything. He told me to sit tight and that he’d be there in 15 minutes.

30 minutes passed and I was worried he had forgotten. I was highly uncomfortable at this time to leave because by then it was 7pm and the sun had set and it was dark out. I saw the homeless man standing outside begging for money and when he saw that I had $20 he asked me for it and I told him no (Wasn’t it enough I looked homeless myself because I had so many bags next to me!? Obviously not. Or he seriously was mentally challenged). Once I told him no he kept walking back and forth around the building. I couldn’t help but think that he would jump me the minute I left the building. So I stay put still petrified. Well, 45 minutes late, Angel showed up with a woman by his side (which I learned later on was Erika) and asked if I was Jonathan. I said yes and he asked how long I had been sitting there for. I told him 3 hours and he asked me where I was from. I then told him my story and he told me to get my stuff and to hop in the car with him.

We rode all the way to his friend’s house. She seemed nice and I thought they were a couple. As soon as we got to their house, Angel explained to me he was gay and that the girl was his best friend, Erica. He then proceeded to tell me he had some errands to run, but that he would be right back to show me around town. I was ok with it because Erica seemed nice and I was also introduced to Brooke, who was her room-mate. So as Angel went to run his errands I talked to Erica. I found out that she herself was Andrew Christian’s Photographer and a professional photographer. As Brooke was a professional wedding planner. I loved these girls. They seemed really chill and they listened to my story and felt Very optimistic for me.

Angel returned and we then proceeded to take a tour of “Korea Town” near downtown Los Angeles. Angel told me probably the best place I could crash at for that night was at the library (The Filipe Denave Branch…or something like that) and also showed me where to get a month bus pass. We all stopped at a sushi shop for dinner and talked a little more and then we returned to the house. Erica decided to put on “The Little Mermaid” and we watched that half way through.  Then I decided it was time for me to leave. So Angel and I took a few of my bags  and he walked  me to the library. He wanted to have sex with me because he gave me that look and asked if there was anything else he could do for me. I wasn’t thinking on the same term and just said no.

So there I had it! I slept on the sidewalk at the library that night and that was the way it was for the next 7 days for me. I didn’t mind it at all because I was free to do whatever I wanted for that day and I could leave my sleeping bag  at the same place and it wouldn’t disappear. I discovered West Hollywood within the next three days. I also Visited Santa Monica Pier/Beach and I also took my first subway train. I was having fun!! I also was very enthusiastic when I discovered West Hollywood (Or WeHo) and the Lesbian And Gay Youth Center on Highland. I knew that this was where I belonged because I could once more feel comfortable cross dressing and being feminine if I wanted.  I’ve got to say I loved my first week in Hollywood because I discovered a lot and I also became quite confident that this is where I belong.

Then week two rolled along. My life quickly changed. I was hanging out in WeHo on Sunday afternoon and put an ad on Craigslist looking for sex because I was horny. Well, this guy by the name of Dan emailed me back and asked if I could host. I told him no. I think he got suspicious so he started asking where I was staying at. I first lied to him saying I had an apartment downtown, but then I ended up telling the real truth. He freaked out and told me he had help coming to get me. I was like ok. Next thing you know A place called “Covenant House California” came up and picked me up. They asked me questions and gave me dinner. Then they gave me a bed for the night and told me to see Outreach in the morning to get a permanent bed in the program for 90 days.

The next day I saw outreach and did a bunch of paperwork. They had to call my mom and confirm I wasn’t welcome back home in Pennsylvania.  We had to wait three hours. My mom called back and in an angry voice said I wasn’t welcome back. Supposively she also gave the reasons why, which we all know.  I was a little emotionally upset over this the next few days, but got over it.  So we did the paperwork and got me into a bed for 90 days.

So that’s where I have been the past two weeks. Been living in this homeless shelter just chilling, looking for jobs, and other things. I’ve made a couple of lesbian friends. And I may not like it here, but at least i get to take two showers, do my laundry (free), and eat 3 meals a day. Plus, I have a case manager that meets me everyday and we discuss my career options and what to do that day. Plus I have free access to health services.

Well, got to go but will write later. Bye.

-Jonathan  S Fisher

 

weho time

 

 

Los Angeles, California Here We come!

It’s funny how things can change in an instant, and that’s what happened with me. Ok, so Obviously by the title you can already tell I am moving to Los Angeles, California. Yes, I am and how did this come to be? Well, let’s start at the beginning. So, as I mentioned in the previous post I was and still am failing in classes. I tried really hard and I even got a tutor, Jonathan Jackson. I was still three weeks behind and I know I missed at least a week of class because I was sick. So, with that I had decided enough was enough and planned on dropping out. I know I am on financial aid and that I will have to pay back $10 Grand, but even then if I continued to attend class I would’ve recieved a grade of E and had my financial aid suspended. So, with that I was gonna have to drop out either way.

It’s not only about the financial aid issue,  it was also some deep thinking I did and what a methhead told me. So, there was this one night when I met this guy, Damon P. Rodriguez, who needed a place to stay for the night. So I met him and talked to him for a couple of hours to make sure he was safe. Then I offered for him to crash at my place for the night because he seemed really nice and chill (the only downfalls: He was a methhead and he was HIV Poz….which didn’t bother me. I told him just to not do the drugs in the house and if we did have sex it’d have to be with two condoms). So he stayed at my house overnight and we were actually up 2am talking about my life.  When I had got home with him, my landlord (Norman Bouma) was yelling at me saying I needed to get out and couldn’t have company over any longer. Him and I were yelling at each other because I was like I get 30 days to leave and he was like I want you out tonight. So Damon stepped in and told him I had 30 days and to leave me alone.

I went to my bedroom and was crying. I was “whining” as Damon put it. He said that I had a pretty messed up life and that I was headed in the wrong direction. I asked him what he meant and he said if I wanted to be a PopStar/MovieActor/Model that going to school was not going to help. Yes, I would learn stuff but in the end I wouldn’t need it. He also said I should consider moving to Hollywood and auditioning there because I’d have more luck there than in Grand Rapids, Michigan. So with that, I started the process of thinking about my options I had. I stayed up for 4 nights in a row packing my bags trying to figure out what to do. I questioned myself: Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to move all the way out to the west? Do I really want to move so far away that there may be a chance that I won’t ever see my family again? Do I really want to face the possibly of paying $10K  and possibly end up in jail if I don’t pay it back? I ask these few question plus many more and thought about it real hard. I was exhausted that whole week because it was all I could think of and I was stressed. Either way, I was gonna be homeless and living on the street in 30 days. I had a decision to make.

So with that, I chose to take a shot at Los Angeles, California. I had weighed all my options and came to the conclusion I was going to Los Angeles. My landlord, got extremely mad but then he saw it as a way to get out of pressing charges on me and paid for the ticket. So with that, I went. And Now I am writing this as I am on my way to California. I am scared and I am happy at the same time. I know this could be great or not. But I am taking my chances. So, Hollywood California here we come!