Jonathan S Fisher's Life Adventures

Posts tagged ‘Bears’

Prince Charming and Life Construction

Ok Focus……..focus.

So I broke up with James. I know that it’s shocking, but yes we broke up and decided to remain friends. What happened? Long story. I’ll make it as simple as ever. James and I kept getting into stupid fights about petty stuff. Then one night he said people were talking about us in the community and that his friend confirmed it on Facebook. So I didn’t believe him and went and checked his phone and saw his friend was actually the one talking stuff about ME! His friend was saying I was a piece of shit basically and that he didn’t think James and I should be together. This made me angry. James lied to me and this wasn’t the first time he lied to me. Not only that but I also found that James was talking to this 19 year old  about bringing him into the house and having sex with him. I got mad and decided I had enough of it all. I told James he wasn’t my Prince Charming and that we were over and that’s how it ended. James was nice and said I could stay at the house as long as I still contributed to the food expenses and tried to pay the bills when I had money. So him and I ended up being friends and that was 8 months of being in a relationship.

Now that I am single I feel much more free. I feel energetic and ready to conquer the world. I feel more motivated to fix myself and and my life. I am actually trying to pursue going to Job Corps program for Culinary Arts. I really want to fix my life and get a career in whatever and be able to pay my own bills and own my own apartment. I decided that when James and I broke up that I am tired of living the life I am living and that it was time for a change. So with that I am taking one day at a time to change my life. If Job Corps doesn’t work then I plan on going to Broward College part time for Culinary Arts or Childcare and work a part time job as well. This is going to be the hardest struggle of my life. Yes, I know at times I may want to quit but I will have to fight. I am scared. I’m frightened because I may face homelessness and danger. I may face the hardest trials yet but in the long run I will have successfully made my career and defined my life. So let’s hope this works.

I’m going to be honest too. I am desiring a new love story.  I think about it everyday. There is a new man out there looking for me and I am searching for him too. I really thought about the list of things I want this boyfriend to be like and here it is:

10 Basic Things I desire in a man: The official list

1. Honesty above all. I mean, I don’t need no man lying to me and telling me s**t. I need a man who’s honest and not afraid to be blunt and up-front.

2. Unconditional love. Love that’s deep. Love I feel is love. No hurt or pain involved and if mistakes are made they are easy to forgive. Love that lasts and feels like a fairy tale.

3. Steady job and Income. I’m not a gold digger but I really appreciate it when my man has money and knows how to budget and handle his money right. It’s a maturity thing I guess.

4. Sex. Sex everyday if possible. I mean: c’mon I’m horny all the time and I’d love a man who I can have sex with anytime (when possible). I really would like it if he was a dominant versatile top so I can bottom 60% of the time and top whenever I feel like it. I want the kissing and holding to be passionate and wonderful. I want a man who I burn for. I also want him to be open to trying kinky things like leather and bondage and sex toys. I want a good fuck all the time.

5. Appreciation and encouragement. I want a man who appreciates my existence and my talents and pushes me a step further in pursuing my dreams. I mean take me to any classes or anything needed to pursue my dreams. A man who likes it when i cook or bake and appreciates it and A man who likes to hear me sing (because we all know i sing). Also a man who appreciates my music

6. Adventurous. I want a man who knows how to be adventurous and isn’t afraid to go to places. Like to a museum or even out of state if finances permit. Or would love to go on a scary roller coaster or simply to a new club together.

7. Energy and excitement outside of the bedroom. This is a big one. I want a man who loves to be excited to go out in public and be fun. I love to be loud and affectionate in public. I love to make a scene sometimes. I want a man who wouldn’t mind that and would love to be freaky and exciting outside the house.

8. Physically attractive. Okay, so no man is never gonna meet the “Exact criteria” of this part but it’s worth writing about my type. Age doesn’t matter as long as he meets the above criteria. I like young and I like older. I won’t deny that most of my dating life has been older men because most young men fail to meet the criteria and only want sex (NO offense! Prove me wrong). As far as body form goes I really like a thick man. Whether he’s muscular or chubby or just all a little husky it doesn’t matter. I’m not really into skinny because there’s no substance there. I love it when a “beefy” guy has a beautiful ass and wonderful arms with a little belly. Most of all I DO NOT appreciate small packages. Sorry if I sound like A size queen but he’s got have at least seven inches and I have to be able to want it. Most importantly and lastly but not least, He’s gotta be hairy! I don’t like hairless and smooth. It just doesn’t suit me.

9. A man who can accept my emotional problems and help me get away from them and focus on being happy. I’d love my man to make me feel secure and happy with him and when I get emotional he understand knows when to back off and when to give me the attention I need. I’d love for him to watch my back too.

10. Lastly but not least I want us to be happy with each other and not to even consider being open. I want our fire to burn so much we get married and live happily ever after! I want us to be happy with each other and want us to be together forever till we die.

So is this too much to ask!? I don’t think so! What do you think? I may never find this man. I may die trying but I am not concerned about it so much as I am concerned about fixing my life. I may never find that man because the gay community is in a sad state right now. I am hoping for a young love story as in someone younger. I may never find it but it’s worth trying.

Anyways, I will write more later. Here’s to another day of fixing my life and looking for the real Prince Charming ❤ !

-Jonathan

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Another Move!? Oh Jonathan!

08/24/2014

Hey Readers,

First off before I start writing this blog I want to personally thank all the people who have followed my blog and supported it. Your supports and followed are greatly appreciated. I also love comments and critiques and do appreciate the nice ones I have received so far! Thanks again and i just wanted to say that this will be my 53rd post!! Your support, comments, and follows keep this blog up and running! Thanks again!

Ok. Where to start? Ah! Last time I left you off with me dating Octavio. Yeah, we did go on a dinner date at Denny’s Family restaurant and it was delicious. I ordered fried steak with mashed potatoes and broccoli (Wow! What a lot of starch! lol!). He ordered some stir fry stuff. We enjoyed the dinner and talked about what we wanted in our futures, I was kind of talking like i wanted him in my life and wanted to marry him. He said he wanted to marry one day, have one kid and open his own salon. I was fallen for him and told him that sounded great. He also told me about his alcohol addiction and how he got 4 DUI’s and had to use a breathalyzer to operate his car.  I was totally smitten with his personality that it didn’t matter to me. So as we finished dinner he drove me back home and kissed me goodnight. He told me he wanted to meet at his house the next day and I agreed to.

I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept thinking about him talking about his future and I kept fantasizing him and I marrying. I just kept dreaming. Morning approached and I was ready to meet him but then I got a text. He said he was called into work and that we’d have to meet later around 2pm. I was a little upset but I just went job hunting that morning still having that goal in mind that I wanted to raise $5 Grand to move to Pennsylvania. As 2pm approached I was so excited. He texted me he’d be there in 15 minutes. I kept brushing my hair and making sure I looked nice for our second date. He arrived and took me to his house. His house was so small and there was no living room. It was just a bedroom and a kitchen. I didn’t care tho and he took me to his bedroom.

He tore my clothes off as I stared into his eyes. Then we proceeded to have sex (I’m not gonna get graphic….lol….but I can). Again, it was the best sex I had. He was all sweaty but I figured it was normal for a guy his size (he had a small hairy belly which I go nuts for on a man..lol). Something was wrong though because I sensed a negative energy in the room. He asked me if I was hungry and I said I’d buy him pizza at the pizza shop. He refused the offer and took me to dominoes instead and paid for it himself. I was okay with it, but the whole time I felt a negative energy. So he drove me back home and kissed me goodbye.

I didn’t sleep well that night because I felt something was wrong. I texted him telling him a lie saying I dreamed about him and wanted to meet again. He didn’t respond right away. I was worried but then I received his text saying he was working so I told him I would call him around the time I knew he got out of work (Which was 8pm). I successfully went on with my day hoping he’d offer me on a date when 8pm came around. 8pm came around and I called him. I explained to him I couldn’t get him off my mind and that I really liked him. Then he gave me the news I didn’t want to hear: He said he wanted to break up. I cried asking him why. I had done nothing wrong and as far as I was concerned we had great sex.  I was upset. He explained to me he had no time for me because he was working so much and that he didn’t want to hurt me. He hurt me anyways as I hung up crying just hoping I was dreaming. Alas, I wasn’t and I went into a deep depression.

The depression didn’t last long. About four days later I was just browsing facebook and doing my thing when I decided it was time to move on and look for another date (Sometimes I wonder about how I can get over something so fast, though?). So with that I joined BiggerCity, adam4adam, Grindr, and Growlr once more hoping I’d find something worthwhile. There were a lot of guys hitting me up but I declined most of them because they only wanted to get into my pants. Then “HE” walked in. Some cute attractive guy posted a status on the Facebook group BiggerCity asking a chaser to create a scenario of what would happen if we went to the bar and he got drunk. I kinda went all the way out naughty and said I’d take him to my house and have sex with him. He messaged me and said he wished that could be real. I just laughed and said hello.

Two days later HE hit me up again on Facebook asking me what was up. I told him I was ok but that I was heartbroken over my ex and tired of being single. He then proceeded to tell me I was attracted and that his name was James. I thanked him for introducing himself to me and for trying to bring me comfort by telling me I was attractive but that it wasn’t helping because every gay guy tells me that and that I wasn’t looking for sex. I was looking for a long term relationship. He then proceeded to tell me he was single and looking for the same thing. He asked me to try it with him. Well, I had no clue where he lived so then I asked him where he lived. He told me he was located in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and I was like OMG I am most certainly not moving to Florida to be with you because I belong in Los Angeles. He said he knew that already and that he’d move to Los Angeles to be with me if we worked out.

A week went by. I talked to James every night and day and spent about 4 hours every day that week on the phone with him. I learned he worked at Papa John’s and that he was actually a decent guy that was slowly learning to care for me. I learned he was chubby as well and that he was quite cute for his “baby face” he would always send me. He was extremely cute and I felt a small connection with him. I also learned that he really liked black guys and that he was really into me because I was very attractive Inside and out. I also learned he smoked (Yes we all know I do not tolerate smoking) but I chose to overlook that. I learned so much about him and chose he wasn’t a bad guy after all. I still was hoping he’d move to Los Angeles.

Well, the behind the scenes our budding relationship was falling apart in Los Angeles. Covenant House California was coming down on my ass everyday and pushing me to get a job. I was upset because no matter how hard I tried I kept failing at obtaining a job and then my other exes were jumping on my ass because I was telling them I didn’t want to be with them. I was crying on the phone everyday and looking for love.  I missed my family as well and all my friendships were falling apart. Covenant House California also begun renovating their facility and I got a new Room mate by the name of Joseph Santos and we were fighting too much because honestly he was gay and too dominant for me and I had a small crush on him (Don’t ask!). Things were falling apart and I wanted to leave.

Well, James heard me. He knew what I was feeling and he did the obvious: He offered to pay a plane ticket to Fort Lauderdale to be with him. At first I was hesitant and scared. I was afraid James would be just like my one ex, Dan White who once fucked me up when I was 18 by saying I could live with him but at the end of it all put me out on the street (Long story!). I cried for about three days just expressing my fears to James. I told him I didn’t trust him and that if I did move there we’d have to sign a paper saying he’d work with me and NOT throw me out on the street. He reassured me for four days straight. So finally after all the tears, pain, and fighting I did with myself and Covenant House California I decided to move to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to give James a chance.

5 days passed and James bought the ticket. I packed my bags. I said my goodbyes to Los Angeles. I said my goodbyes to Hollywood.  I promised myself I would return someday on a visit but that this was it. Los Angeles was an adventure of discovering myself and finding the true meaning of what I want in life. I chose I didn’t want the fame that Hollywood displayed or that these celebrities are getting. I chose that I wanted fame in a different way and that Los Angeles wasn’t the place. I decided I wanted my fame to be for God and not for the people. Los Angeles was quite an Adventure not to be forgotten and I did learn a lot living in Los Angeles.  All I can say is that Los Angeles is NOT glamorous and beautiful. It is quite the opposite and the people there are either snobs or careless. The gay scene there is fucked up and it’s all about meth. weed, and heroin there. The people in Los Angeles are lost. I DO NOT want to return to live there ever. A visit is fine but living there is not an option. My 6 months in Los Angeles was quite an adventure and I give all the GLORY to God for giving me the strength and courage to survive.

The final hours before taking off on the plane were quite interesting. I packed my bags and tried to get a ride to the airport from Covenant House but they were assholes and told me I’d have to walk to the airport because they couldn’t support me for what I was doing (Yeah…I was upset about this because I couldn’t believe they would make me suffer  carrying all my bags 12 miles to the airport and my bags were NOT lightweight!). I made sure they knew I was upset and left. I panicked as I only had an hour to get to the airport and the map said it would take me 2 hours to get there! So with that, I freaked and called everyone I knew in Los Angeles to ask for help. I even called my exes! They all said they couldn’t do anything for me and wished me luck. Assholes! Then my lifesaver came through! My friend, Christopher Battley came through and told me he would drive me at no cost! I was so thankful for this and I showed him all the appreciation I could. He was a true friend and to this day as I write this, we still talk. Thanks Chris!! I will be FOREVER thankful!!

So I got to the airport. I was scared shitless! I had never been on a plane before in my life and never done anything at an airport before! I was panicking! I called James up and got the instructions. I had to go to the checking in counter and show my  ticket and then they would take my bags and put it on the belt for the plane. Afterwards, I would go through security check and then head to the designated gate number of the plane taking off for Fort Lauderdale florida. I did all of this with no problem and got on the plane. I was so nervous when I stepped on the plane and sat next to the window. I was finally moving away from Los Angeles! I think the plane attendant knew and asked me if she could do anything to make my trip more comfortable. I smiled and thanked her for caring and told her I would be fine. As the plane took off I leaned forward to kiss Los Angeles goodbye. The view was beautiful! I was stunned and mesmerized! Los Angeles looks beautiful in the air!

3 hours passed on the plane. The plane ride felt like being in a car. A Fast Speeding car. We arrived in Denver, Colorado for our first stop. I didn’t have to switch planes so I just stayed in my seat and waited for about 20 minutes for us to take off again. I texted James letting him know where i was and that I was happy to leave Los Angeles. I told him all about my fears and he reassured me I would be ok. So then I spent another 8 hours in the air on my way to Fort Lauderdale. I have to be honest that the whole time I was looking out the window and playing my video game on my phone (The wi-fi on the plane sucked). When I arrived at Fort Lauderdale I wanted to get back on the plane again! I enjoyed the ride a lot and it was beautiful! I walked to baggage claim and got my bags and then waited for James.

I jumped into James’ arms when he walked up to me. He was a little bigger than I thought he was but I liked it. His hands were so welcoming as they clutched mine and then Our First kiss happened. It was ok but I was hungry (lol). So James and I walked to his friend’s car and put my bags in the trunk. As I sat there in the car I looked James up and down and listened to his voice. I put my hand up his shirt to feel his soft hairy chest (and man boobs…lol!) and I loved it! I did tell him he was bigger than I thought he was but it was ok. His voice was sexy. His outfit was sexy. His eyes were a beautiful hazel brown. I was burning in lust for him. I would’ve fucked in the car if we could’ve!.  He gave me a Denny’s cheeseburger as I proclaimed I was hungry after I was done taking him in. I chowed half of it down and then we arrived at his house. His house was small and quaint and a little dirty but I promised myself I’d  clean it the next day when I unpacked. We proceeded to have sex and it was HOT! Then he passed out and I am here writing this blog in so much awe.

Well, I need to go to bed as I am exhausted myself and need to unpack my bags tomorrow but let me say that I am still burning up in lust for James and I still feel like I made a great decision. Hopefully tomorrow James will prove to me why living in florida is ok and show me around. Good night  readers and feel to comment and share! Bye now!

-Jonathan

 

PLANE PHOTOS:

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A Picture of Me and Octavio Rojas:

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A Picture of James Thompson my new boyfriend:

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James and I together on our 1st Night:

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Well Goodnight!!

-Jonathan S Fisher