It’s that time again. A milestone. I have been in Los Angeles, California for 5 months now. more specifically, I have been living in Hollywood for 5 months now. How has it been? Very Hard and it is still very hard living here. I have thought about moving back to Michigan numerous times and right this moment I am still thinking of it.
So let’s take an overview of the last 4 months (I think I covered the first month already in the previous post). Well, I did hold two jobs! The one job was an internship onsite with Covenant House California. I was a Food Preparation Intern in the Kitchen. My basic duties were to serve food to the residents of the shelter, make snacks, prepare the for needed for dinner and make sack lunches (sandwiches). It was a simple easy job and I was told that i was the hardest working and best performing intern they had. That job lasted for a month and 12 days. Then I accepted another part time job with Melrose Spa.
Melrose Spa was great working at. Mario Sandoval, my supervisor, would bring me in everyday 8am to 4pm to work and I worked really hard. My basic duties were cleaning the bedrooms in the spa (a total of about 30 rooms), cleaning the other rooms and restrooms in the spa, and to clean the jacuzzi out and put fresh water in it. It was a fun job and the environment there was super gay and comfortable (LOL! It was a bath house for real, not a spa!). I loved my coworker who trained me, Ty. He was super gay and super cute. I honestly looked up to him while working at the spa because he was so free and happy all the time. He made the job funner than it was! Hehe :). So yeah, I held this job for about two weeks and then my supervisor just laid me off for no apparent reason on June 13th (Which also happened to be Friday the 13th! Yikes!).
So with that, those are the only two jobs i have been able to uphold in Hollywood. Typical, eh? Yeah, I have been searching for another job and yes I have been to a couple of interviews already. I had an interview with Healthy DogSpot Spa LA and that went very well but Marissa (The lady in charge of the business) called me and notified me she found a better match. Then I interview for Target as well on LaBrea and Santa Monica (Located in West Hollywood) and they sent me an email notifying me they weren’t interested. So I am still looking and actively seeking employment. It’s hard out here in Hollywood.
So in other news, boyfriends have been low key really. For a while i was in a relationship with a guy from Long Beach, California who was 36 years old. His name was Matthew Buckner. Him and I kicked it off good at first. We went on a date at the Hard Rock Cafe and we kissed. But then it went downhill from that point on because he kept begging to have sex with me and I was like hell no. Then I said yes but then he wanted me to pay for a hotel room and I was like hell no. So then i cheated on him and slept with another guy (just a random hookup) and he got upset and then I decided to call it quits with him because him and i weren’t working out.
I mean, it was more than that too. This relationship lasted a month long. Matthew was smoking too much and i kept asking him to stop but he wouldn’t. Then he kept looking at other guys and degrading me. He also made me feel like s***. He also had issues with playing with my emotions and wouldn’t appreciate the stuff i was doing for him (such as taking 2 hours out of my day to go see him in Long Beach and dealing with his nasty ass smoking). So I cheated on him and that’s what ended our relationship. I had the full right to cheat. We did try to keep an open relationship after i cheated on him, but that did not work because I got tired of him bragging about the guys he was sleeping with and then throwing it in my face. So we broke and let me say this: I was glad we did because honestly it was tiring to me!
Since Matthew I have been single. so 2 months? Yup! I won’t deny that I have had numerous hookups since then. I won’t deny I have been kinda slutty. I have had a few visits to Melrose Spa and Midtowne Spa, yes. I have been safe and yes, I use condoms and get tested. I still want a boyfriend. I am not “looking” as some would say but i still hope for one. There is a guy I am seeing right now but I am thinking about calling it quits because he won’t reciprocate in sex and like all he wants is my ass. I’m like it takes two, not one.
Speaking of hookups, I have to tell you about this one guy. I met him at the Midtowne Spa. He was 34 and omg he….was…..a……muscle god! His pecs were huge and his arms were massive as well. His legs were like toned so well and like when he took his clothes off…his nude body was gorgeous! Don’t believe me? Oh you just wait till I tell you the next part. Okay, we obviously had sex…lol. Yeah, but you will never guess how freaky the sex was! Like I wondered why it was so freaky and then afterwards when I left the spa I couldn’t stop thinking about it. He looked into my eyes for a whole minute while we were making love and he held my hand passionately. Then he took my hand and look directly into my palm. Then at the end of the sex and all he looked at me and told me everything was going to be ok and that he saw everything. I gave him my number before leaving and kept thinking about what he said. That bothered me.
I went home and couldn’t stop thinking of it. What had he seen? Why did it seem like he got inside of my soul and pried me open? Why was it so freaky? Something wasn’t right and I knew it. So i slept on it and dreamt about the sex. I went on with the day and it bothered me. So then he called me in the evening and I spilled it out. I asked him what he meant and that it bothered me immensely. He then proceeded to tell me he was psychic and that while we were having sex he did a psychic reading on me! I was freaked! No wonder why I felt he crept inside of my soul. He read me and fooled me and I didn’t know! He said that looking into my eyes he saw my past, present, and some of my future. In the moment he looked into my palm, he was trying to read my love life. He said he wasn’t quite sure about the palm reading because I wouldn’t sit still but that he definitely knew my past and present and some of my future. He said he saw a light and that pretty soon I would face some major choices in life. He also said I would face a major choice in the use of meth. He said i would use it.
Now that I choose not to believe since i don’t do meth and I have seen people’s lives destroyed by it. Plus I am afraid of needles. He also said that I would have friends who are jealous of my life and i would be jealous of their life as well. Interesting. He said those friends would introduce me to drugs and I would try some. Gosh, I think this guy misread me because I do everything to stay away from drugs. The only drug I’ve done that my friend, Karleem, introduced me to was pot/marijuana. Even then, here in California it’s not an illegal drug. Why would I do drugs? He did give me a valid reason why tho because I asked him. He said my need for love will become so strong that drugs will be my escape. That’s a pretty valid reason and quite a shocking truth. So with that being said i promised myself i would never do drugs and that he was wrong. Yeah, I want love but there is no reason for me to do drugs to escape it.
So with that said, I still talk to him everyday or I try to at least. Ok. Moving on. So besides the sexual drama and boyfriend drama I have also had some personal issues. For one, I did cut my wrist again. Why? Because i got depressed and I have been dealing with my depression a lot lately. I don’t know why. I started writing this blog post in depression, but now i am feeling fine. I have been taking my meds and everything. I think I am getting majorly depressed because I can’t seem to find a stable job or boyfriend. Yes, I still want a boyfriend even though sometimes it seems like I am way too promiscuous to have one. Believe me, when i get a real boyfriend i won’t be promiscuous anymore and i will be committed to him and him only.
I explained earlier I do search extensively for jobs and I try real hard to land interviews. I do my best in interviews too. I guess you could say I don’t try hard enough. I mean, yeah i should try harder. I am trying real hard to get a job as a cashier in a retail store or a shelf stocker. I love working retail. People tell me I should look for jobs in the food industry such as Mcdonalds or In N’ Out Burger, but really that’s not for me. I have applied to 12 different coffee shops in Los Angeles and I called about 7 of them but they all said they would call me. It’s hard. When i got a job at Melrose spa, I was so happy but then i realized it was working in the “sex” industry and wasn’t quite a notable job to hold. Sadly, they laid me off but if I could keep it, I think I would. The job paid $9.50 an hour. My paycheck was $700! So yeah, I hope I can find a better job that pays just as much. It’s still hard in Los Angeles. I don’t know why, but the employers here are very picky.
In housing news, I am still residing at Covenant House California, BUT I did move up to their 2 year “Rights Of Passage” (ROP) Program! I had to fight to get into this program. One of my friends said i did no work to get into the program and that they just chose me. She was wrong. I had to get up everyday and submit my job search employment contact sheets to my case manager. I also had to attend many “Life Skill” classes and i also had to keep out of trouble everyday to get in the program. Was it easy? No! In fact, it was very exhausting and when I finally was notified I was moved up to ROP I nearly cried! I had won and got what I wanted!
How is ROP? Oh it is ok! There is less drama and it’s more quiet. I only have one room-mate and I can also keep my stuff in my bedroom and not worry about it being stolen. I can sleep in on the weekends if i want to and I also can stay up in my bedroom all day if wanted. luxurious? It sort of is. It still is stressful living there tho. I still have to get up during the weekdays at 830am in the morning and make it to the 9am morning meeting. I mean, it’s not that bad really. Helps me get the f*** out of bed in the morning (LOL!). I wish staff would care more often tho. When I cut my wrist they really didn’t care and just told me not to do it again. They could’ve talked to me and cared. Yes, I still have a curfew. The initial curfew is 10pm but really for me it is 7pm when I have a chore to do. This week I don’t have a chore so I have until 10pm this week. I do not know about next week. Yes, I still have to attend Life Skills classes but it’s ok. I actually like the facilitator of the classes, Kristen. She is pretty and kinda reminds me of my mom a lot.
So yeah. that’s what has been happening. You know, I forgot to mention that i have identified my mental issues. Based on research and a lot of observations of my actions i am classified as Bipolar 1, PTSD, and Manic Depression. I won’t explain in detail what it is in this post but just research it.
So what do you think? Should I stay in California and try harder or Should i move to Michigan?
Thanks for reading!!
-jonathan s fisher.
HOLLYWOOD DREAMS ❤ ❤
BTW: REMEMBER THE PCITURE FROM LAST YEAR!? My birthday is 28 days away today!!! I will be 20!! Who’s Gonna celebrate with me!!??
I dyed my hair blonde for the month of June!! Hehe!! One of my friends who live in Pasadena, Mark Starr dyed it for me for $20. 🙂 I loved it!!
I also bought a new Apple Macbook Pro 13 inch Laptop!!
Just A few more pics of me at the beach!! I went to Venice, Santa Monica, Malibu, and Will Rodgers State Beach!!! My favorite of them all: Venice Beach!! ❤
And Finally just a few shots I took with my phone 🙂
HAVE A NICE DAY!!
Thanks for reading and please share!! Comments appreciated!
-Jonathan S Fisher
DON’T FORGET TO CHECK OUT MY YOUTUBE!!