Jonathan S Fisher's Life Adventures

Posts tagged ‘Singing’

Birthday and Life goes on :0

8/12/2014

Hey All,

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve written. Sorry. I used to write weekly but lately my life has been so busy with looking for a job and then some days I don’t get out of bed because I am too tired and depressed and I lie there sleeping or talking to friends on my phone. Or sometimes I get so caught up in doing “other” things that I am exhausted and ready to go to bed. So yeah.

But not much has changed. I am still in Covenant House California’s ROP Program and doing very well in it. The staff love me because I am one of the people who cooperate and do well with the program. As far as my personal life, well just recently I broke up with that Paul guy. He just wouldn’t reciprocate. So I went over to his house and told him straight up that I couldn’t do this any longer and broke up with him. Then yeah, I’ll admit I visited the Melrose and Midtowne Spa a few times, and met a couple of nice guys. The one, Ruben Hernandez was alright. The thing I liked about him was his eyes! They were green and in the dark they would change to brown. He was Latino and about 32. Very nice guy. I met him at Midtowne Spa and yeah, we had sex. It was good sex because he did me very well and yeah I liked it. I gave him my number but he never did text me. He did however, add me on Facebook two weeks later and I was like oh ok but we never met a second time to this day because supposedly he lives outside of Los Angeles.

But yeah, I did meet another guy who turned out to be my boyfriend, but let me get to that a little later. I did undergo a photoshoot with a man by the name of Christopher Anthony! His photography’s business name is First Blast Photography and he did a few free shots with me!! I had to wait two weeks to get the results and am still waiting for the edits, but it was fun! We went to a park in Culver City and shot there. I was in my “cowgirl” outfit (Black boots, skinny jeans, black button up shirt, and black socks). It was fun and I did my best to look my best. With the photos I am going to share, they are still in the editing process ūüôā

Anyways, after the photoshoot, I went down a spiral of depression. It was a week before my birthday and I kept dreaming about my foster family. I kept dreaming they were welcoming me back with open arms. It happens every year around my birthday and this year it was the most impacting because it was my big 20! I couldn’t help but think that this was it: I am approaching my full adult life and saying goodbye to being a teenager and my parents couldn’t be present to celebrate with me! I lay in bed for 4 days straight not moving at all just lying there crying. Sadly, no one cared. Covenant House just though I was sick and didn’t bother to ask.

Well, after about 5 days of moping, crying, and sleeping intensely I finally found something to look forward to: I had decided that I was going to make a goal of raising $2,000 and move to Pottsville Pennsylvania to be near my family. I thought hey if they don’t want me to be in their life then it could be a win win situation and I could at least be close to them. This got me super motivated to get out of bed and move. I had something to look forward to and I had to get a job to get that goal accomplished. I threw it in people’s faces and told them i was gonna leave the dreadful California for a better life in Pennsylvania.

So then my birthday came. July 30. It was an ok day. I got a huge cake from Covenant House and I also got a bunch of Birthday wishes. It was just another day for me really because no one really gave me gifts or presents and I had not received any birthday letters. I did cry for about 10 minutes towards the end of the day because I missed my family and wished my family could’ve been with me for my big 20 but it was it was. I promised myself that my 21st birthday would be rocking fun by either getting drunk at a bar or going on a vacation.

So yeah, my birthday is past and I am now 20. No longer a teenager. It’s funny because I felt like an adult when I turned 19. It feels no different to be 20. I am still Jonathan S Fisher and still struggling to find a job in Hollywood, California. I am still trying to use my talent of singing and dancing to impress people and be an entertainer. I hope that this year goes well. I hope something good comes out of my 20th year and that I find the love of my life. I pray to God I find a job and can make a life for myself this year and that no matter what I will always have friends. ¬†I am going to make this year a beautiful one and successful.

Well anyways, not much has happened since then. I am seeing a guy by the name of “Octavio Rojas”. He’s 42 and mexican. We met at Midtowne Spa. Yeah, he’s chubby. He’s actually a mexican chubby bear. Yes, we’ve had sex already (Lol) and it was hot! He sure does have a thing for my ass tho (lol), but I have a thing for his hairy belly honestly. The funny thing about the two of us is that He doesn’t speak english very well and I have to communicate with him through sending texts. ¬†I like him though. Him and I are supposed to go on a date soon so I am looking forward to that since I haven’t had a real date in like months! I hope Octavio is the one. The only problem I am facing right now is telling him I plan on moving to Pennsylvania in 5 months or so. Maybe it could change for him. It depends on how much we connect and so far it’s going well.

So anyways, besides looking for work extensively and seeing Octavio nothing has been going on. I really hope I get this job and make that $5 Grand. I’ll be happy. ¬†I am going to go to bed now because I am getting tired. Hope you all have a great night and thanks for reading!!

-Jonathan S Fisher

PHOTO SHOOT PHOTOS: Done by Christopher Anthony from First Blast Photography:

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Thanks again Christopher Anthony from First Blast Photography for taking time to shoot those photos!! It is greatly appreciated!!

 

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Picture Of My Family

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New Year 2014

Hey all,

Sorry it takes me so long to get back to you all. I guess I just haven’t found the time and motivation to write. For one I’ve been so busy with school and immersed in dealing with drama. Yeah, a lot has happened in my life lately including taking on a new year. ¬†It’s been crazy good and crazy bad. So where do I start?

Ok, we will start at New Years. I don’t remember if I covered Christmas, but basically Christmas was ok and I got a few gifts and one of my friends (Who I haven’t seen since then) took me shopping. ¬†H e bought me a lot of stuff from Five Below (which is my favorite new store) and 7 brand new music cds (Including Britney Spear’s “Britney Jean”. He also took me out to dinner at Texas Steakhouse. I also received a bunch of gift cards to different ¬†stores around Grand Rapids. So I was busy the three days after Christmas Day shopping and enjoying my gifts while they lasted. I also spent it at a strange family’s house and it made me feel uncomfortable because I didn’t even know the people. So, Christmas was good while it lasted and I liked it. Then New Years happened.

No, I didn’t have a great New Years Celebration. all I did was spend it alone moping in tears and pain watching the ball drop. I felt so alone and knew my family was probably enjoying it themselves together. I cried because it hurt so bad to sit there and remember all the good times I had with my family and to think that they weren’t even giving a freak about me. ¬†I cried myself to sleep that night just hoping that maybe this new year would get better and that I’d see my fam sometime soon. In reality, even as I write this at the End of January, I know it is not gonna happen this year. It may never happen. ¬† It hurts so bad to know I lost the love of my life and it was all because of my mistakes and my sexuality. I can’t live with myself sometimes. My friend said I am pathetic and stupid because I won’t let go. Is this true?

Anyways, So when January 3rd came around I bought my books from the bookstore to start my new semester. I also bought a new Samsung Galaxy Tablet 3.  I was excited for the semester because I was taking five classes: Piano, Voice, Music Theory, Choir, and  Applied Performance. So that very next week I went back to school and started the new semester of Winter 2014. I started out so well. Well, come week two I started failing in music theory and then I was failing in Piano Class too because Professor Kenneth Bos was progressing too fast (So was Professor Morris too) So I got behind a week and I still am. Will I ever finish the course on time? Possibly. Most likely not tho because right now I am two weeks behind and got  30% on my test on quiz 1. So I am not doing very well there. Piano class is the same. I am still stuck on Page 8 trying to catch the rhythm and the beat. I possibly was put in the wrong classes.

I want to quit school but at the same time I love singing so much and I want to try harder. I want ¬†to learn my voice and how to write music, but perhaps personal instruction is better of an option for me. With my classes I am in right now it’s all group instruction. I do better with 1on1 instruction. How sad that the college does not offer this. They do offer individual piano lessons but it has to be for majoring in Piano. I’ll never understand colleges these days. Kevin Dobreff, the music Director, knew I had no previous experience in music and that I was completely clueless. Why did he put me in these classes? Do you think he knew I was going to struggle? I have no clue, but I think If I do go to school in the summer I will take their lowest class which is MUS99.

So with that being said, that is where I am at in college right now. I should’ve stuck to doing my GenEds out first. Alas, I’m either gonna fail this semester or something good will happen. I’ll keep trying though. For some reason, I can’t bring myself to quit. This might sound cray, but I think I’m addicted to college and studying and learning new material. I’m always open to learning new material.

Anyways, so I am still attending Calvary Church. I don’t know why though. I’m slowly breaking away from them because there are so many reasons. For one, when I got to college lunch I always sit alone unless I actually put my butt in a group. And no one really talks to me. I secretly know they hate me anyways. I feel their hatred and their minds just saying “He’s such a fag and a sinner and I can’t stand it”. Yeah, I’m gay and there’s nothing wrong with it. Oh and then Mason, the college ministries youth pastor tried to convince me I wasn’t gay and that I needed to be single. I was like excuse me I can be gay and God still loves me and doesn’t ask me to change myself. I know this for sure because I wrestled with it for weeks and I cried out to God earnestly and He didn’t ask me to change. I am also gonna leave because they continually say they will help me stay off the street and keep me from being homeless. Well, I’ve been waiting for a freaking month and still have not gotten anything. So, I’m slowly drifting away and trying to move on.

Ya know, I forgot to mention that before I went to school I had another one of those nights when I got extremely intoxicated. A guy I know from Phoenix, Arizona came down to see me and took me out to dinner. He was nice and yes he spent the night at my house and he bought me a big bottle of vodka. So I drank it a few nights after he left because I felt so lonely. OMG it was a bad idea. I got molested by a strange guy and then my landlord that night. How did this come to happen? Well, while I was intoxicated somehow I got this strange guy over and he tried to fuck me, but I refused. He forced me to inhale poppers and then that’s when I lost my complete mind. He got kicked out from my landlord because I screamed before I lost my mind. Then my landlord saw that I lost my mind and took advantage of that moment. I don’t know what he did, but he told me he sucked my d*** and that I touched his. EWWWW!! How did I find out? Well when I woke up the next morning he told me what happened and was smirking. I so wanted to kill him right then and there but I just ran to my room and cried and promised myself I would move out soon and never drink. I dumped my vodka and I have been four weeks completely sober since then!

I do want to move out though! I can’t stand my landlord anymore. He’s such ¬†a hypocrite and a pervert. He watches gay porn like it’s entertainment. He thinks that I’m gonna have sex with him when he is 83 years old!! His name is Norman Bouma and I can’t stand him anymore. Everyday I ignore him and I get tired of him always walking around in his underwear and shitting on his clothes and expecting me to do his laundry for him. It disgusts me and I’ve lost all respect for him. I plan on pressing charges on him when I move out because he has got to be stopped! I’m not the only college kid he’s molested! And when I move out I bet he’s gonna look for another victim. AND THIS GUY IS 83! Unbelievable! Some people just don’t grow up. I can’t stand it! I lost all respect for him.

Just lastnight tho (and I know this is jumping ahead a little, but oh well) he threatened to kick me out. He said he has had enough of me treating him like crap and not talking to him. I yelled in his face lastnight that I lost respect for him and that I didn’t appreciate the fact that he molested me (I don’t even know if he may have raped me!). I told him I was tired of him thinking that some 20 year old was gonna want to be his boyfriend and love him. I told him I was disgusted by the fact that he has like 10 dildos in his bathroom drawer and that I basically know when he’s using them because my bedroom is right next to the bathroom and then I always find his damn shit in the sink or in the shower. Plus he makes the damn bathroom smell. Oh and did I mention he does poppers too!? Yeah, I told him I was disgusted and just horrified. He just smirked and told me if I wanted to get out than I could.

It makes me angry though because I DO want to move out but I am stuck here because I have no money to pay for another place and no other families will take me in. Anyways, I am stuck here, but if he does give me an eviction notice then I’ve chosen to personally fuck his life up. You see, he isn’t out to his family and his church. I will personally expose his ass and I won’t regret it. If he wants to fuck my life up and think I’m not gonna care and not do anything about it he is wrong. I will steam roll him over. ¬†I know it’s not christian but I am done being used and stabbbed in the back. WHOEVER HURTS ME FROM THIS POINT ON WILL LIVE TO REGRET IT!!

I am done tho with these fake ass b.s. men. Like ok, there’s this guy I know, Zach Silva who is a youth pastor at some church in Granville. He is christian and preaches to the kids he works with sexual purity! WTF!? Like what a hypocrite! He slept with me and kept begging to fuck me and I was like hell no. He did try to fuck me but it was unsuccessful Thank God! Then there was this other guy I knew, Blake F. ¬†from Grace Bible College who is 19. He said he’s be my boyfriend and then he came over and tried to fuck me but it didn’t work and the next day he blocked me from texting him or calling him! What a ¬†backstabber and liar!! Now, I am thinking about getting back at these two young guys so they will learn their lesson but I am unsure. It angers me tho.

Anyways, I think I’ve written enough today. I will write again later. Peace!!

-Jonathan S Fisher

I’m in the front row in the choir!!! at the end of the video.

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*Still single and still looking for a real legit boyfriend!! Too much Gay Drama Tho!