Jonathan S Fisher's Life Adventures

Posts tagged ‘the problem with gay men’

Prince Charming and Life Construction

Ok Focus……..focus.

So I broke up with James. I know that it’s shocking, but yes we broke up and decided to remain friends. What happened? Long story. I’ll make it as simple as ever. James and I kept getting into stupid fights about petty stuff. Then one night he said people were talking about us in the community and that his friend confirmed it on Facebook. So I didn’t believe him and went and checked his phone and saw his friend was actually the one talking stuff about ME! His friend was saying I was a piece of shit basically and that he didn’t think James and I should be together. This made me angry. James lied to me and this wasn’t the first time he lied to me. Not only that but I also found that James was talking to this 19 year old  about bringing him into the house and having sex with him. I got mad and decided I had enough of it all. I told James he wasn’t my Prince Charming and that we were over and that’s how it ended. James was nice and said I could stay at the house as long as I still contributed to the food expenses and tried to pay the bills when I had money. So him and I ended up being friends and that was 8 months of being in a relationship.

Now that I am single I feel much more free. I feel energetic and ready to conquer the world. I feel more motivated to fix myself and and my life. I am actually trying to pursue going to Job Corps program for Culinary Arts. I really want to fix my life and get a career in whatever and be able to pay my own bills and own my own apartment. I decided that when James and I broke up that I am tired of living the life I am living and that it was time for a change. So with that I am taking one day at a time to change my life. If Job Corps doesn’t work then I plan on going to Broward College part time for Culinary Arts or Childcare and work a part time job as well. This is going to be the hardest struggle of my life. Yes, I know at times I may want to quit but I will have to fight. I am scared. I’m frightened because I may face homelessness and danger. I may face the hardest trials yet but in the long run I will have successfully made my career and defined my life. So let’s hope this works.

I’m going to be honest too. I am desiring a new love story.  I think about it everyday. There is a new man out there looking for me and I am searching for him too. I really thought about the list of things I want this boyfriend to be like and here it is:

10 Basic Things I desire in a man: The official list

1. Honesty above all. I mean, I don’t need no man lying to me and telling me s**t. I need a man who’s honest and not afraid to be blunt and up-front.

2. Unconditional love. Love that’s deep. Love I feel is love. No hurt or pain involved and if mistakes are made they are easy to forgive. Love that lasts and feels like a fairy tale.

3. Steady job and Income. I’m not a gold digger but I really appreciate it when my man has money and knows how to budget and handle his money right. It’s a maturity thing I guess.

4. Sex. Sex everyday if possible. I mean: c’mon I’m horny all the time and I’d love a man who I can have sex with anytime (when possible). I really would like it if he was a dominant versatile top so I can bottom 60% of the time and top whenever I feel like it. I want the kissing and holding to be passionate and wonderful. I want a man who I burn for. I also want him to be open to trying kinky things like leather and bondage and sex toys. I want a good fuck all the time.

5. Appreciation and encouragement. I want a man who appreciates my existence and my talents and pushes me a step further in pursuing my dreams. I mean take me to any classes or anything needed to pursue my dreams. A man who likes it when i cook or bake and appreciates it and A man who likes to hear me sing (because we all know i sing). Also a man who appreciates my music

6. Adventurous. I want a man who knows how to be adventurous and isn’t afraid to go to places. Like to a museum or even out of state if finances permit. Or would love to go on a scary roller coaster or simply to a new club together.

7. Energy and excitement outside of the bedroom. This is a big one. I want a man who loves to be excited to go out in public and be fun. I love to be loud and affectionate in public. I love to make a scene sometimes. I want a man who wouldn’t mind that and would love to be freaky and exciting outside the house.

8. Physically attractive. Okay, so no man is never gonna meet the “Exact criteria” of this part but it’s worth writing about my type. Age doesn’t matter as long as he meets the above criteria. I like young and I like older. I won’t deny that most of my dating life has been older men because most young men fail to meet the criteria and only want sex (NO offense! Prove me wrong). As far as body form goes I really like a thick man. Whether he’s muscular or chubby or just all a little husky it doesn’t matter. I’m not really into skinny because there’s no substance there. I love it when a “beefy” guy has a beautiful ass and wonderful arms with a little belly. Most of all I DO NOT appreciate small packages. Sorry if I sound like A size queen but he’s got have at least seven inches and I have to be able to want it. Most importantly and lastly but not least, He’s gotta be hairy! I don’t like hairless and smooth. It just doesn’t suit me.

9. A man who can accept my emotional problems and help me get away from them and focus on being happy. I’d love my man to make me feel secure and happy with him and when I get emotional he understand knows when to back off and when to give me the attention I need. I’d love for him to watch my back too.

10. Lastly but not least I want us to be happy with each other and not to even consider being open. I want our fire to burn so much we get married and live happily ever after! I want us to be happy with each other and want us to be together forever till we die.

So is this too much to ask!? I don’t think so! What do you think? I may never find this man. I may die trying but I am not concerned about it so much as I am concerned about fixing my life. I may never find that man because the gay community is in a sad state right now. I am hoping for a young love story as in someone younger. I may never find it but it’s worth trying.

Anyways, I will write more later. Here’s to another day of fixing my life and looking for the real Prince Charming ❤ !

-Jonathan

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6 Months later

Hello Readers,

Sorry I haven’t written in like forever. Six months to be precise. I just haven’t been motivated and been so busy with fighting for disability, moving job to job (I’ve held 3 to 4 jobs by now), taking care of my relationship with my boyfriend (Still with the same guy, James Thompson but it’s been really hard), and then moving to places. So I may start this post today and finish it like 3 months later or something. I just been really busy and my life has changed and everything has been crazy.

So in short explaining what has happened between James and I: We still are in an open relationship. We once were close to closing it but he messed up and hurt me so I decided to keep it open. We get into a lot of fights over stupid stuff. We fight over finances, housework, and most of all we fight over how many guys I been seeing. It’s a different kind of relationship. Some would say it is abusive on BOTH sides. I admit that I am a little of a hard ass on James. I totally fucked up a lot but he has too so it’s really a 50/50 scenario. I cry a lot because sometimes I don’t think this is the relationship i want to be in. I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to feel vindictive when James hurts me. I don’t want to feel like i want to leave him. I don’t want to feel like we are never going to get married. I want peace. My biggest hurdle and struggle is finding the change I need to change in myself.

I think about it everyday. I know i need to change something about me. I’m doing something wrong here. Maybe I’m being too ungrateful by asking for help with chores around the house when James works two jobs and I work nothing (although i do admit I’ve been trying really hard and have held 3 to 4 jobs by now). Maybe I’m being a little harsh when I go to hookup with a guy and I have sex with him and I hardly have sex with James (heart throbbing….I’m sorry). I know there’s a lot I can change and I am trying to. For one, since i can’t seem to hold a job I am trying to fight for SSI Or disability so I can help James financially. For two, I try my hardest not to have James do a lot of chores (I try hard. I do the dishes when I can and I clean house everyday). For three, I don’t hook up as much as I should. Most of the time I lay back and just don’t hook up. I don’t know, it’s all a maze for me and it stresses me out a lot because sometimes I lash out and say hurtful things to James just to destress and then later I regret it when I see him cry or get super emotional.

James and I have been in a relationship for six months now and it’s been a ride. This has been the longest relationship I’ve been in. What has kept him and I together after all the pain and hurt has been done? James says it’s love. I don’t know what to call it because I don’t think love hurts. Now, don’t get me wrong I do care for James a lot and I do love him but I don’t know what love is. I mean, my reasoning is that love shouldn’t hurt like this but slowly I guess I am accepting the fact that love does hurt. We’ve made memories too! Good memories have kept me with James. Then I also really like James’ humor and his caring heart. Whether he wants to realize it or not, I am still attracted to him and he still can turn me on. Sometimes my bipolar gets in the way and I am lose interest but after it all I still love him and still care deeply and am attracted to him.

We’ve made good memories. One of the best memories was we did move out again and have our own apartment now. We moved out of Anthony McCoy’s house around December and got an apartment downtown Fort Lauderdale! Guess what!? We also adopted a small female beagle and Named her Neena!!! So by January 1st 2015 we moved fully into our new 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment at $750 a month and had us a little pet to take care of. I instantly fell in-love with Neena! She became my little Princess and I spoiled her everyday. To this day I still spoil her and give her the best treatment ever. Neena became the best thing that has ever happened to me because she loves me unconditionally and she would never hurt me. Hell, there was once when James opened the front door and she ran out the door. James chased her but she wouldn’t come to him. When I called her name she just ran straight to me and licked me. I was happy! That meant she wanted me! I love my dog Neena and she means the world to me!

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Another happy memory James and I made was the time when we went to the beach!! We had so much fun! We went all the way to Miami and had a little picnic at a nude beach called Haulover Beach. It was so much fun because I have never been nude on a beach before and I simply enjoyed being in the water nude and seeing all the people see me in my birthday suit! James never got nude because he didn’t feel comfortable but I was happy and free! We had a great time that day and took some pics. Here are some:2014-12-07 16.14.39

I had so much fun that day and that was a good memory. Maybe one day soon we will go back but for now it is a little chilly outside. Another great memory James and i made were the times we went out to eat! I can’t describe the exact number of times we went out to eat but we had the funnest times then. Once we went to Golden Corral and our server was a spanish lady who didn’t speak English quite well and she was serving tea to another customer and then asked the other customer if she wanted more tea. Now, James thought she said “Would you like some more Tina?”. Him and I were dying of laughter and we made sure to leave the waitress a good tip. Then the best restaurant yet him and I went to was called Sweet Tomatoes. That was the best food but rude customers.

Thanksgiving was fun. We went to James mum’s house in Uvalda, Georgia and had dinner and spent time with his mum. I loved his mum! She was a little ratchet and loud just like me and she understood my mental conditions and could relate to my life a lot. Her and I are alike in many ways. She loves to cook and clean and she also loves half the shows I watch on tv and she also loves pets like I do. She is very ratchet like me (Ratchet means very loud and obnoxious) and loves to talk! I loved his mum and I can’t wait to see her again! His step-dad was ok but very quiet so I didn’t really connect with him. His mum had a lot of cats and one dog. The cats loved me and I was entertained.

Christmas and New Years was just plain normal. We both drank on New Years and went to bed drunk while watching the ball drop. James’ Friend, Paul came over Christmas day but it didn’t end so well. I am not going to disclose details on what happened as I may get sued for even mentioning his name on this blog but it didn’t end pretty and Paul went back home. All I can say about that day was that I was mad as hell because James hurt me that day by calling me an idiot in front of 15 people and I cried and was suicidal because it hurt. At the end of the day, James apologized and I forgave him.

Other than that, not much has happened. I already explained the whole relationship thing. I did file for SSI for my bipolar, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), Anxiety, and ADD issues. I got denied once and appealed it. Waiting on the decision but it is looking good so far. Other than that nothing else is new. I hope people are reading my blog because I don’t see who reads it. Please comment!! Thanks!

-jonathan-

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That was me at the manor 

 

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Me at the Manor with LadyGuy DiscoDiva:

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OUR NEW BED:

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Well Have a great day!! Don’t forget to check out my Twitter and Facebook for daily updates!!!

God Bless!!

-Jonathan-

Life in California…..so far

Hey Readers,

So I’ve been in Los Angeles, California for 3 weeks and 5 days. A lot has happened. I know I gave a short brief description on why I was moving and it seemed like a pretty short post. Sorry about that, but you have to understand I was on the bus at the time and I couldn’t concentrate worth squat! Even as I write this post, I may not finish it completely because I only have so much time. So I will do my best.  I love my readers and my followers and thankyou for bearing with me.

So yeah, I took the bus from Grand Rapids, Michigan to Los Angeles, California. It was a 2 day and six-hour trip. I rode the Greyhound bus and we stopped many stops including Chicago, Phoenix, Santa Fe (New Mexico), and many others. I think the best stop was at Oklahoma City because that was when I got out of the bus to stretch and realized I could take my winter jacket off because it was warm weather there (lol……Fuck Michigan weather). It was a fun trip and I did a lot of sleeping and personal reflection. I couldn’t believe I had moved and that I was actually throwing myself to the lions. I felt brave and like I had a major change that was needed in my life. I was pursuing my dreams and I was letting go of everything and leaving my past behind and moving miles away where I would possibly be  alone for weeks at a time.

So I showed up at the bus station Sunday afternoon, 330pm. I was scared and didn’t know where to go. A guy named Andy was supposed to pick me up and  show me around and then take me to a homeless shelter nearby. He didn’t and I was stuck at Greyhound for about two hours just crying and scared. I had no clue where to go and I was frightened. I knew I was in the middle of downtown and close to Skid Row (Which is 100% unsafe and sick). So, after 2 hours I headed over to the McDonald’s just nearby to use the wi-fi there. I sat there for an hour hitting up the gay men there desperately asking for a ride to the nearest shelter and to be shown around. I got no replies. Then I got this strange text. It read “Hey dude, it’s me, Angel. I am out downtown and was wondering if you needed any help? Let me know”. I done freaked out and told this strange guy named “Angel” everything. He told me to sit tight and that he’d be there in 15 minutes.

30 minutes passed and I was worried he had forgotten. I was highly uncomfortable at this time to leave because by then it was 7pm and the sun had set and it was dark out. I saw the homeless man standing outside begging for money and when he saw that I had $20 he asked me for it and I told him no (Wasn’t it enough I looked homeless myself because I had so many bags next to me!? Obviously not. Or he seriously was mentally challenged). Once I told him no he kept walking back and forth around the building. I couldn’t help but think that he would jump me the minute I left the building. So I stay put still petrified. Well, 45 minutes late, Angel showed up with a woman by his side (which I learned later on was Erika) and asked if I was Jonathan. I said yes and he asked how long I had been sitting there for. I told him 3 hours and he asked me where I was from. I then told him my story and he told me to get my stuff and to hop in the car with him.

We rode all the way to his friend’s house. She seemed nice and I thought they were a couple. As soon as we got to their house, Angel explained to me he was gay and that the girl was his best friend, Erica. He then proceeded to tell me he had some errands to run, but that he would be right back to show me around town. I was ok with it because Erica seemed nice and I was also introduced to Brooke, who was her room-mate. So as Angel went to run his errands I talked to Erica. I found out that she herself was Andrew Christian’s Photographer and a professional photographer. As Brooke was a professional wedding planner. I loved these girls. They seemed really chill and they listened to my story and felt Very optimistic for me.

Angel returned and we then proceeded to take a tour of “Korea Town” near downtown Los Angeles. Angel told me probably the best place I could crash at for that night was at the library (The Filipe Denave Branch…or something like that) and also showed me where to get a month bus pass. We all stopped at a sushi shop for dinner and talked a little more and then we returned to the house. Erica decided to put on “The Little Mermaid” and we watched that half way through.  Then I decided it was time for me to leave. So Angel and I took a few of my bags  and he walked  me to the library. He wanted to have sex with me because he gave me that look and asked if there was anything else he could do for me. I wasn’t thinking on the same term and just said no.

So there I had it! I slept on the sidewalk at the library that night and that was the way it was for the next 7 days for me. I didn’t mind it at all because I was free to do whatever I wanted for that day and I could leave my sleeping bag  at the same place and it wouldn’t disappear. I discovered West Hollywood within the next three days. I also Visited Santa Monica Pier/Beach and I also took my first subway train. I was having fun!! I also was very enthusiastic when I discovered West Hollywood (Or WeHo) and the Lesbian And Gay Youth Center on Highland. I knew that this was where I belonged because I could once more feel comfortable cross dressing and being feminine if I wanted.  I’ve got to say I loved my first week in Hollywood because I discovered a lot and I also became quite confident that this is where I belong.

Then week two rolled along. My life quickly changed. I was hanging out in WeHo on Sunday afternoon and put an ad on Craigslist looking for sex because I was horny. Well, this guy by the name of Dan emailed me back and asked if I could host. I told him no. I think he got suspicious so he started asking where I was staying at. I first lied to him saying I had an apartment downtown, but then I ended up telling the real truth. He freaked out and told me he had help coming to get me. I was like ok. Next thing you know A place called “Covenant House California” came up and picked me up. They asked me questions and gave me dinner. Then they gave me a bed for the night and told me to see Outreach in the morning to get a permanent bed in the program for 90 days.

The next day I saw outreach and did a bunch of paperwork. They had to call my mom and confirm I wasn’t welcome back home in Pennsylvania.  We had to wait three hours. My mom called back and in an angry voice said I wasn’t welcome back. Supposively she also gave the reasons why, which we all know.  I was a little emotionally upset over this the next few days, but got over it.  So we did the paperwork and got me into a bed for 90 days.

So that’s where I have been the past two weeks. Been living in this homeless shelter just chilling, looking for jobs, and other things. I’ve made a couple of lesbian friends. And I may not like it here, but at least i get to take two showers, do my laundry (free), and eat 3 meals a day. Plus, I have a case manager that meets me everyday and we discuss my career options and what to do that day. Plus I have free access to health services.

Well, got to go but will write later. Bye.

-Jonathan  S Fisher

 

weho time

 

 

New Year 2014

Hey all,

Sorry it takes me so long to get back to you all. I guess I just haven’t found the time and motivation to write. For one I’ve been so busy with school and immersed in dealing with drama. Yeah, a lot has happened in my life lately including taking on a new year.  It’s been crazy good and crazy bad. So where do I start?

Ok, we will start at New Years. I don’t remember if I covered Christmas, but basically Christmas was ok and I got a few gifts and one of my friends (Who I haven’t seen since then) took me shopping.  H e bought me a lot of stuff from Five Below (which is my favorite new store) and 7 brand new music cds (Including Britney Spear’s “Britney Jean”. He also took me out to dinner at Texas Steakhouse. I also received a bunch of gift cards to different  stores around Grand Rapids. So I was busy the three days after Christmas Day shopping and enjoying my gifts while they lasted. I also spent it at a strange family’s house and it made me feel uncomfortable because I didn’t even know the people. So, Christmas was good while it lasted and I liked it. Then New Years happened.

No, I didn’t have a great New Years Celebration. all I did was spend it alone moping in tears and pain watching the ball drop. I felt so alone and knew my family was probably enjoying it themselves together. I cried because it hurt so bad to sit there and remember all the good times I had with my family and to think that they weren’t even giving a freak about me.  I cried myself to sleep that night just hoping that maybe this new year would get better and that I’d see my fam sometime soon. In reality, even as I write this at the End of January, I know it is not gonna happen this year. It may never happen.   It hurts so bad to know I lost the love of my life and it was all because of my mistakes and my sexuality. I can’t live with myself sometimes. My friend said I am pathetic and stupid because I won’t let go. Is this true?

Anyways, So when January 3rd came around I bought my books from the bookstore to start my new semester. I also bought a new Samsung Galaxy Tablet 3.  I was excited for the semester because I was taking five classes: Piano, Voice, Music Theory, Choir, and  Applied Performance. So that very next week I went back to school and started the new semester of Winter 2014. I started out so well. Well, come week two I started failing in music theory and then I was failing in Piano Class too because Professor Kenneth Bos was progressing too fast (So was Professor Morris too) So I got behind a week and I still am. Will I ever finish the course on time? Possibly. Most likely not tho because right now I am two weeks behind and got  30% on my test on quiz 1. So I am not doing very well there. Piano class is the same. I am still stuck on Page 8 trying to catch the rhythm and the beat. I possibly was put in the wrong classes.

I want to quit school but at the same time I love singing so much and I want to try harder. I want  to learn my voice and how to write music, but perhaps personal instruction is better of an option for me. With my classes I am in right now it’s all group instruction. I do better with 1on1 instruction. How sad that the college does not offer this. They do offer individual piano lessons but it has to be for majoring in Piano. I’ll never understand colleges these days. Kevin Dobreff, the music Director, knew I had no previous experience in music and that I was completely clueless. Why did he put me in these classes? Do you think he knew I was going to struggle? I have no clue, but I think If I do go to school in the summer I will take their lowest class which is MUS99.

So with that being said, that is where I am at in college right now. I should’ve stuck to doing my GenEds out first. Alas, I’m either gonna fail this semester or something good will happen. I’ll keep trying though. For some reason, I can’t bring myself to quit. This might sound cray, but I think I’m addicted to college and studying and learning new material. I’m always open to learning new material.

Anyways, so I am still attending Calvary Church. I don’t know why though. I’m slowly breaking away from them because there are so many reasons. For one, when I got to college lunch I always sit alone unless I actually put my butt in a group. And no one really talks to me. I secretly know they hate me anyways. I feel their hatred and their minds just saying “He’s such a fag and a sinner and I can’t stand it”. Yeah, I’m gay and there’s nothing wrong with it. Oh and then Mason, the college ministries youth pastor tried to convince me I wasn’t gay and that I needed to be single. I was like excuse me I can be gay and God still loves me and doesn’t ask me to change myself. I know this for sure because I wrestled with it for weeks and I cried out to God earnestly and He didn’t ask me to change. I am also gonna leave because they continually say they will help me stay off the street and keep me from being homeless. Well, I’ve been waiting for a freaking month and still have not gotten anything. So, I’m slowly drifting away and trying to move on.

Ya know, I forgot to mention that before I went to school I had another one of those nights when I got extremely intoxicated. A guy I know from Phoenix, Arizona came down to see me and took me out to dinner. He was nice and yes he spent the night at my house and he bought me a big bottle of vodka. So I drank it a few nights after he left because I felt so lonely. OMG it was a bad idea. I got molested by a strange guy and then my landlord that night. How did this come to happen? Well, while I was intoxicated somehow I got this strange guy over and he tried to fuck me, but I refused. He forced me to inhale poppers and then that’s when I lost my complete mind. He got kicked out from my landlord because I screamed before I lost my mind. Then my landlord saw that I lost my mind and took advantage of that moment. I don’t know what he did, but he told me he sucked my d*** and that I touched his. EWWWW!! How did I find out? Well when I woke up the next morning he told me what happened and was smirking. I so wanted to kill him right then and there but I just ran to my room and cried and promised myself I would move out soon and never drink. I dumped my vodka and I have been four weeks completely sober since then!

I do want to move out though! I can’t stand my landlord anymore. He’s such  a hypocrite and a pervert. He watches gay porn like it’s entertainment. He thinks that I’m gonna have sex with him when he is 83 years old!! His name is Norman Bouma and I can’t stand him anymore. Everyday I ignore him and I get tired of him always walking around in his underwear and shitting on his clothes and expecting me to do his laundry for him. It disgusts me and I’ve lost all respect for him. I plan on pressing charges on him when I move out because he has got to be stopped! I’m not the only college kid he’s molested! And when I move out I bet he’s gonna look for another victim. AND THIS GUY IS 83! Unbelievable! Some people just don’t grow up. I can’t stand it! I lost all respect for him.

Just lastnight tho (and I know this is jumping ahead a little, but oh well) he threatened to kick me out. He said he has had enough of me treating him like crap and not talking to him. I yelled in his face lastnight that I lost respect for him and that I didn’t appreciate the fact that he molested me (I don’t even know if he may have raped me!). I told him I was tired of him thinking that some 20 year old was gonna want to be his boyfriend and love him. I told him I was disgusted by the fact that he has like 10 dildos in his bathroom drawer and that I basically know when he’s using them because my bedroom is right next to the bathroom and then I always find his damn shit in the sink or in the shower. Plus he makes the damn bathroom smell. Oh and did I mention he does poppers too!? Yeah, I told him I was disgusted and just horrified. He just smirked and told me if I wanted to get out than I could.

It makes me angry though because I DO want to move out but I am stuck here because I have no money to pay for another place and no other families will take me in. Anyways, I am stuck here, but if he does give me an eviction notice then I’ve chosen to personally fuck his life up. You see, he isn’t out to his family and his church. I will personally expose his ass and I won’t regret it. If he wants to fuck my life up and think I’m not gonna care and not do anything about it he is wrong. I will steam roll him over.  I know it’s not christian but I am done being used and stabbbed in the back. WHOEVER HURTS ME FROM THIS POINT ON WILL LIVE TO REGRET IT!!

I am done tho with these fake ass b.s. men. Like ok, there’s this guy I know, Zach Silva who is a youth pastor at some church in Granville. He is christian and preaches to the kids he works with sexual purity! WTF!? Like what a hypocrite! He slept with me and kept begging to fuck me and I was like hell no. He did try to fuck me but it was unsuccessful Thank God! Then there was this other guy I knew, Blake F.  from Grace Bible College who is 19. He said he’s be my boyfriend and then he came over and tried to fuck me but it didn’t work and the next day he blocked me from texting him or calling him! What a  backstabber and liar!! Now, I am thinking about getting back at these two young guys so they will learn their lesson but I am unsure. It angers me tho.

Anyways, I think I’ve written enough today. I will write again later. Peace!!

-Jonathan S Fisher

I’m in the front row in the choir!!! at the end of the video.

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*Still single and still looking for a real legit boyfriend!! Too much Gay Drama Tho!

The Letter I wrote to My mom and Dad 2 weeks ago

So, two weeks ago I sent this email out to my parents. I never got a reply. I just resent it hoping they will reply. I don’t expect it but it’s worth a try! I kept it G-Rated…haha.

“Hi Mom and Dad,

It’s Jonathan =) Just thought I would write to y’all and let y’all know what’s been up with me lately. Well, as you guys know I got into college and I am about finished up with the semester!! I have averaged a B in my grades (which is above average) and I am looking forward to moving on to the next semester! This semester was really good for me, as I did take three classes this semester with 7 credits (Math 097: Basic Algebra and mathematics, MUS 189: College Choir, and CLS 100 Introduction to college studies). My next semester is planned in five classes: MUS 120: Introduction to Piano, MUS 112: Basic Music Theory, MUS 189: College Choir, MUS 151: Applied Non Music Major (These are the vocal lessons), and lastly MUS 103: Applied Performance Class (This is the class I Have at the end of the month when I appear to the jury for them to judge whether I move up to the next level in music lessons).
So that is the plan for my next semester. I am very excited and thrilled I will be learning music and piano. I took pre-requisites this ending semester (fall 2013) and did very well as mentioned before (I received a B either way because tomorrow I take the final in Math 097 and I am quite confident I can pass it). Choir has been fun and Is graded on attendance. I never miss choir because it is so fun and I’ve grown to master my vocal range somewhat (I am a First Tenor in training). We had our first concert October 13 and performed Les Miserables and Bridge Over Troubled Water. It was fun!!! I was nervous because it was my first concert performing but I performed quite well and am looking forward to our next concert which is December 9th!
So yeah, I also have a part time job with workstudy working with the music department. 15 hours a week and it isn’t a hard job at all! I also am anticipating on recording a Christmas album soon (not professional, but a demo) and I also am trying to plan on going to America’s Got Talent Summer 2014 (as I have the option to take the summer off). I am working on developing this talent and totally am pursuing my dream to become a popstar!
But I am not perfect and I’m not trying to paint a perfect picture. By all means, I still face problems. For one, I recently had to admit I’m an alcoholic because I was drinking like crazy. I also got into debt by $400 but I quickly repaid it back (I won’t say how, but let’s just say I stopped doing that because Jesus spoke to me). I’ve been raped. I’ve been accused of many things too. I struggle too. All my money I make now goes for a place to stay and my phone bill. I struggle hard because I don’t have parents to support me (*but that’s ok tho*). Amazingly through all my stress and hurt and pain, I still pass in school and get good grades. That’s because I’ve set my priorities straight and I DEEPLY care about my future.
Yes, I believe in Jesus and God and I attend church regularly on sundays. I also am part of the young adult/college life ministry and the pastor has connected with me. It’s good living here in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Attending Grand Rapids Community College. I will be earning my Associates Degree in Music.
Mom, if u read this I just wanted to let you know that what you taught me about cleaning and cooking is being used quite well and I am very clean and still cook a lot ❤ . When people ask me how I know how to do so many good things I was always tell them to thank my mom. Haha. I love u and I still care. I wanna see u but whatever. soon enough I guess.
Well Thanksgiving is a week away and I hope y’all enjoy it! I will miss everyone and be thinking of u guys but it is what it is. I’ve forgiven y’all and I pray everyday that Jesus will change your hearts and let me back in. It hurts and I cry so many times and I’ve been suicidal before about it but I have learned to let go (altho family movies and some memories triggered do get me depressed sometimes and I cry a lot,). I wrote a song about the pain and that helps too. I don’t hate y’all. I don’t dislike y’all. I know I am still gay.
Infact, I am still looking for the right man to marry. I’ve been through a lot of breakups and stuff but I still look for the right man that would wanna marry me and adopt kids and make a family. A man that will accept me for who I am. It’s hard tho because all the men in Grand Rapids are whores but I still try. It’s all about patience tho.
well, I need to go and do some things. Hope you read this mom. And dad. Reply back please?
Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Holidays ❤
Love,
Jonathan Stephen Fisher
NEW: I HAVE BEEN INTO PHOTOGRAPHY TOO! CHECK IT OUT! Thanks!
I hope they reply soon!

This is it!

So this evening I went on my Adam4Adam account and was seeing who was gonna flirt with me tonight. This was the result:

I am done with these stupid men trying to ruin  my life. I’m gonna find them and put their asses in jail!

-Jonathan S Fisher